Living With Animals

a journey into madness

I was reminded today that on my first date, I didn’t say hi. I asked the guy that is now my boyfriend to show me his white boy jumping skills.
The fact we’re dating at all seems like a miracle.

I wonder just how many times I’ve lied in bed, counting the grooves in my ceiling.
It’s gotta be close to one hundred by now.

The difficulties in life never feel like they’re worth it. When you’ve dealt with one after another every day of every year for eleven years, you get tired of it. You get tired in general. And you end up where I am now, unable to sleep because you know you’re a fuck-up, and there’s nothing you can do to change it. “Maybe next time,” you tell yourself, “maybe I’ll get it right.”
And it’s the most frequent lie you tell yourself.
Because when you get up in the morning, it’s only a matter of time before it all starts again. And you’re back in fucking square one.

I take better care of my pets than I do myself.